Artemis: Goddess Sex Doll—A Giant Leap for... Well, You Know

There’s a certain point in your life when you realize the future isn’t exactly flying cars and robot butlers.

Instead, it’s… sex dolls that are basically Olympic athletes with steel skeletons. Enter Artemis, the so-called “Goddess” sex doll—the name alone is enough to make you squint. I mean, how did we get here? Anyway.

Did Someone Order a Blonde Amazon?

You ever see those absolute sex dolls online and think, “Who actually buys these?” Yeah. Me too. Curiosity got the better of me (blame late-night boredom), and suddenly I’m scrolling through specs like I’m shopping for a car instead of an 84-pound silicone woman with bunny ears.

Artemis stands at 5’8” (172 cm), which is taller than some of my exes and honestly more intimidating than expected. Her proportions read like someone’s fever dream: 34-inch bust (F-cup—because subtlety died years ago), 23.6-inch waist, and hips clocking in at 38 inches. Big boobs? Check. Big butt? Check again. Athletic build? Sure, if by athletic you mean “could probably bench press me if she wasn’t made of TPE.”

Movable Joints & Steel Skeletons—Not Creepy At All

Let’s talk about her skeleton for a second—a phrase I never thought I’d write outside Halloween season. Artemis has a full-on steel frame with joints that move in ways real humans probably shouldn’t attempt unless they’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil or trying to escape from handcuffs on a game show.

It’s weirdly satisfying (and slightly unnerving) how poseable she is; arms go up, legs bend back, torso twists just enough to make you wonder if this is all going to end up as some sort of urban legend involving haunted love dolls.

Details That Make You Pause

The specifics are… something else: vaginal depth at 7.1 inches; anal at 6.7 inches—yes, people measure these things apparently (I checked twice because it felt fake). Shoe size? US women’s 4.5-5—not that anyone’s buying her Louboutins but sure, let’s keep it realistic.

She weighs in at 84 lbs (38 kg), which means moving her around requires actual effort—not quite deadlifting but not far off either.

Discreet Shipping... Eventually

Absolute sex dolls like Artemis promise “discreet packaging”—the box arrives looking as plain as possible so your neighbors don’t start asking questions about why you needed such a large delivery on a Wednesday morning.

Here’s the kicker though: processing takes three to four weeks plus another two-ish for international shipping—so five or six weeks total before Artemis lands on your doorstep like some bizarre adult Christmas present you forgot ordering during a moment of weakness.

The Bunny Thing Throws Me Off

Can we talk about the bunny ears? Out of everything—the big boobs, long legs, athletic silhouette—it was the bunny hybrid thing that made me pause mid-scroll and wonder who exactly this was designed for. Maybe there’s an audience out there obsessed with Playmates meets Greek mythology meets sci-fi realism—I don’t know—but it adds an odd twist to an already surreal product lineup from Starpery.

Not Quite What They Show in Movies

Honestly—and this surprised me—it doesn’t feel sleazy unpacking Artemis; it feels more like assembling high-end furniture from IKEA except every part looks vaguely judgmental under bad lighting.

She’s soft where she should be (silicone skin does its job) and unexpectedly sturdy everywhere else thanks to that steel skeleton hiding beneath the surface—a weird combo of comforting and uncanny valley territory.

A Brief Tangent About Expectations Versus Reality

I remember thinking these absolute sex dolls were probably just marketing hype—that no one actually uses them or cares about hole depth measurements or F-cup accuracy—but here we are: entire forums dedicated to reviews longer than most novels and unboxing videos with more views than my last birthday party had guests.

People care—a lot more than I expected—and maybe that says something about loneliness or technology or just really specific taste in blondes with long legs and big breasts who also happen to be bunnies sometimes?

Still Not Sure If This Is Progress—or Just Strange

In any case… Artemis exists now; towering over most people with her perfect proportions and blank stare waiting patiently through her five-week journey across international waters inside nondescript cardboard boxes—ready for whoever needs something this oddly specific in their lives.

And maybe next year we’ll finally get those flying cars after all—or just bigger boobs on taller dolls with even deeper holes measured down to the decimal point. Hard to say where things go from here honestly