Emi: Royal Duchess Sex Doll — A Tired Blogger’s Brain Dump

The Box That Sat in My Hallway

It was just a plain cardboard box. No branding, no big “hey, here’s your sex doll!” embarrassment moment with the neighbors. I remember thinking—well, at least there’s that. Discreet packaging actually means something when you live in an apartment building with nosy people who literally peek through their peepholes if they hear a thump. Anyway, the shipping took almost exactly four weeks (they said three to process and one for delivery), which felt like forever but also… not surprising? Absolute Sex Dolls doesn’t seem to rush these things.

First Encounter With Five Feet of Silicone

Unboxing Emi was—hmm, maybe not magical but definitely weirdly clinical and then suddenly awkward. She’s 5 feet 1 inch (157 cm) tall and weighs about 53 pounds (24 kg). Not light, but not impossible to move around either. The D-cup silicone breasts are the first thing you notice because, yeah—they’re right there. Big boobs, big butt, long legs. All those keywords people type into Google late at night.

I don’t know how else to say it: she looks like someone designed her measurements while scrolling Instagram models on autopilot. Bust is 32 inches, waist is just under 23, hips at 33 inches—kind of cartoonish proportions honestly but that’s what sells.

Movable Joints or Mild Panic?

Steel skeleton inside means joints actually bend and hold positions—arms up, legs out (or together), whatever you want really. It freaked me out for a minute when I realized how much she could move; elbows that click softly into place and knees that stay where you put them… until they don’t if you get lazy about balance.

There was this one time I tried moving her from bed to chair and her leg swung out too fast—banged my shin so hard I cursed out loud and then laughed at myself for apologizing to a doll.

Details Nobody Warns You About

Let’s talk about holes because apparently people care—a lot. Vagina depth is six inches; anal goes five and a half. Both feel pretty realistic thanks to full silicone construction (not TPE). There’s some resistance but it warms up after a minute or two—not cold plastic vibes at all.

What nobody mentions: cleaning takes more effort than anyone wants to admit publicly. If you’re lazy or easily grossed-out… maybe rethink things? But if you’re set on having something as close as possible to human skin without the actual messiness of dating apps or small talk—it does its job.

Blonde Hair & Other Odd Realizations

Emi comes with blonde hair by default (wig style), which tangles easier than real hair somehow? You’ll spend time brushing it out unless you enjoy the frazzled look—which sometimes fits my own mood anyway.

Her face is permanently stuck in this gentle smile that feels both welcoming and slightly unsettling after midnight if the room is too dark. Maybe that’s just me projecting though—I tend to overthink objects when I’m tired.

Processing Time Is Real Life Time

Waiting four weeks for delivery sounds short until week three hits and then every day drags on forever. Tracking updates are vague (“in processing,” “in transit”) so eventually I stopped checking until it showed up at my door like some forgotten Amazon impulse buy from last month.

The upside: absolute sex dolls ships internationally for free—and yes, customs didn’t flag anything weird on my end.

One Last Tangent Before My Brain Clocks Out

I never thought I’d write nearly this much about a silicone sex doll named Emi—but here we are. There are communities online who obsess over every detail: bust size vs hip ratio debates, steel skeleton preferences versus wireframe arguments… It gets intense if you let yourself fall down that rabbit hole too far.

Sometimes I wonder why people pick these dolls over real connections—or maybe it isn’t even about replacing anything at all? Just something different in a world where everything feels temporary or transactional lately?

Anyway—I should probably go brush Emi’s hair again before it turns into another tangled mess tomorrow morning…