Megan: The Gym Teacher Sex Doll Who’s Weirdly… Motivational?

There’s a moment—somewhere between browsing for new running shoes and, well, accidentally clicking into the “absolute sex dolls” section of a site—when you realize the internet is just one long hallway full of unlocked doors.

I remember thinking, “Who actually buys a gym teacher sex doll?” But then Megan (yes, that’s her name) pops up on my screen. Blonde. 5 feet 4 inches tall. C-cup silicone breasts that look like they’ve seen more bench presses than I have in years.

The Details Are… Detailed

You know how product pages try to seduce you with stats? Megan comes with measurements so precise it feels like she was built by an over-caffeinated engineer who moonlights as a romance novelist. Height: 162 cm (that’s about 5’4” if you don’t want to do math). Bust: 28 inches. Waist: 20.5 inches (skinny enough to make me suspicious). Hips: 36 inches—now we’re talking.

Weight? She clocks in at 68 lbs, which is basically two bags of dog food or one slightly disappointed golden retriever.

And then there are the hole depths—which, yes, they list out plainly:

• Vagina: 7.1 inches
• Anus: 6 inches

I can’t decide if this is too much information or not quite enough.

Movable Joints & Unexpected Flexibility

Here’s something I didn’t expect to care about—the steel skeleton inside Megan means her joints move like an action figure for adults with questionable hobbies. You can pose her legs (fit legs, honestly) any way you want; she’ll hold a yoga stretch longer than anyone at your local gym ever could.

It’s strange but kind of impressive? Like discovering your vacuum cleaner has Bluetooth.

Discreet Shipping and That Four Week Wait

Ordering something this… specific requires a certain amount of trust in humanity and cardboard boxes. They promise “discreet packaging”—no labels, no awkward branding screaming “Hey! There’s a busty blonde sex doll in here!” Just plain brown anonymity delivered right to your door after about four weeks total (three for processing, one for shipping).

That wait time feels weirdly old-fashioned in our era of next-day delivery. Maybe anticipation adds something—I wouldn’t know; patience isn’t really my thing.

School Girl Vibes With a Side of Irony

They mention Megan as a “school girl” type but also fit enough to pass as your high school gym teacher who used to terrify everyone during dodgeball season. It’s hard not to laugh at the mental image—a big ass and big boobs wrapped up in silicone innocence.

Is it supposed to be sexy? Or just funny? Maybe both?

A Tangent About Silicone and Realism

Quick detour because this gets overlooked—silicone makes all the difference when it comes to these things (not that I’m an expert… ok maybe just curious). It doesn’t feel cold or rubbery; it’s almost disturbingly realistic if you squint past the uncanny valley effect.

Absolute sex dolls have figured out this formula somehow—soft skin texture but sturdy enough joints so nothing snaps mid-pose. Still, every time I see those words (“steel skeleton”), part of me wonders what happens if someone mistakes her for modern art at three in the morning.

Not Quite What You’d Expect

I guess what surprised me most wasn’t the size (big boobs are everywhere online), or even the fact that vaginal and anal sex are both possible—it was how matter-of-fact everything felt once she arrived (well—once she would arrive; let’s say hypothetically).

No fanfare, no judgmental postman, just another box among bills and Amazon packages waiting on my porch.

Weirdly enough… there was almost relief in that normalcy.

Where Curiosity Meets Cardboard Boxes

People probably imagine buying something like Megan is some big secret shameful event—but honestly? After reading through all those specifications and seeing how clinical everything is (“Hole depth: Vagina – 7.1 inches”), it ends up feeling more like ordering furniture from IKEA than anything scandalous.

Maybe that's progress—or maybe it's just late capitalism doing its thing again.

Anyway, does anyone else suddenly feel motivated to go jogging? Or maybe just order takeout instead...