Melanie: Ready To Ship (And Honestly, It’s Kind of Wild)

The “California Warehouse” Thing

There’s something a little surreal about knowing that—right now, at this very moment—a doll named Melanie is just chilling in some warehouse in California. Not waiting for paint to dry or some custom wig to arrive from the other side of the planet. Just… there. Wrapped up, probably looking exactly like her photos, ready to be shipped out the second someone clicks “buy.” I’m not sure why that detail stuck with me. Maybe it’s because so much stuff these days takes forever. You order a couch and six months later you’re still sitting on milk crates.

But with Melanie? No such drama. She’ll show up in 3-7 business days after your order is placed—faster than most pizza deliveries around here, weirdly enough.

She Comes Exactly As Pictured (No Surprises, For Better Or Worse)

Here’s where things get oddly reassuring: what you see is what you get. Literally. If you like her as shown—with built-in vagina option (not removable), gel breasts (squishier than they sound), and standing feet (which honestly makes posing less awkward)—then there’s no guesswork involved.

I remember staring at those product photos thinking, “Is this too easy?” Usually with absolute sex dolls or anything remotely customizable, there are fifty dropdown menus and a hundred ways to mess up your own order. But this time? Nope. It’s almost suspicious how simple it is.

If you want tweaks—different hair, eyes, whatever—that’s a whole different process and apparently much slower. There’s even a link for that (“pleaseclick here,” which feels charmingly desperate). But if speed thrills you? This is the one.

A Quick Dive Into The Stats

For anyone who cares about numbers more than vibes: she stands at 5 feet 2 inches tall (157 cm) and weighs about 62 lbs (28 kg). B-cup chest; athletic frame; measurements are bust 26”, waist 19”, hips 30”. I’ll admit—I had to check twice because those proportions almost sound made-up, but then again… that’s kind of the point with WM Dolls and their ilk.

Hole depths? Vagina and anus both clock in at 6.7 inches; mouth at 5.1 inches—which was more technical info than I expected on a weekday afternoon but hey, transparency matters?

Steel skeleton inside means movable joints everywhere—arms, legs, neck—all bendy but not floppy.

Unexpected Tangent About Fast Shipping

You know what nobody tells you? When something ships fast—like really fast—you start doubting yourself after hitting purchase. Did I double-check my address? Is my phone on silent? Will my neighbor sign for it if I’m not home? Suddenly three-to-seven business days feels like an eternity and too soon all at once.

It happened when I ordered Melanie on impulse after midnight (“just browsing,” yeah right). The tracking number showed up before my coffee kicked in next morning—and then every delivery truck sounded suspiciously like it might be her.

Why “Exactly As Shown” Isn’t Always Boring

At first glance “no customization” sounds limiting—but honestly it takes away so much decision fatigue. There’s no endless scrolling through eye colors or arguing with yourself over hairstyles you’ll never style anyway. Plus: she arrives looking exactly like her photos from Absolute Sex Dolls’ site (which is rare enough).

The TPE skin actually feels pretty lifelike—not sticky or plastic-smelling like some horror stories online—and the built-in options mean less fiddling around straight out of the box.

Some Small Contradictions

Cautious optimism hits hard when reality sets in: yes she looks great standing by your closet door; yes everything works as advertised—but also…she doesn’t blink or sigh or roll her eyes at your dumb jokes (thankfully?). It can feel uncanny sometimes—the way she sort of waits for input but never expects anything back.

Still—even if it sounds odd—it was nice having something arrive exactly as promised without surprise fees or delays or weird customs forms asking uncomfortable questions about contents.

Not Quite Where I Thought I'd End Up

I started out just wanting something quick and fuss-free—a doll that didn’t need weeks of planning or customizing or nervous anticipation about whether she'd look right IRL versus online pics. And Melanie delivered on all counts: fast shipping from California warehouse; comes exactly as pictured; low-key athletic build; steel skeleton that's surprisingly sturdy when you're moving her around awkward corners.

Didn’t expect to be writing this rambling review for friends who keep asking “was it worth it?” Maybe ask me again after another week—or don’t—I might still be figuring that part out myself.