Olivia: Tan Sex Doll — The “Human” Review Nobody Asked For

I’m not sure what I expected, really.

You hear about these things—absolute sex dolls, realistic ones, with steel skeletons and joints that move in ways your own probably wish they still could. And then you see her name somewhere on a screen: Olivia. Five foot six, tan skin that’s more even than mine ever was, and—let’s just say it—a body shaped by someone who definitely had opinions about proportions.

When the Box Arrives (And You Pretend It’s Just Another Lamp)

The shipping was… weirdly uneventful. Three weeks is both too long and not long enough to overthink what you’re doing with your life. Free international shipping though, so that’s something? The box showed up plain as can be—no branding, no “hey neighbor, this is a 79-pound silicone companion” sticker. Even the delivery guy looked bored.

You open it and there she is: Olivia. Not wearing the outfit from the photos (which honestly makes sense), but somehow more uncanny in person. B-cup chest, big ass—like someone copy-pasted an Instagram model into a TPE mold and called it a day.

The Details They Don’t Put On Billboards

Here’s where things get… clinical? Her stats read like a car manual:

• Height: 5’6” (168 cm)
• Weight: 79 lbs (36 kg)
• Bust: 30 inches
• Waist: 18.5 inches
• Hips: 34.6 inches

And then there’s the hole depth section which—I don’t know how to phrase this delicately—is apparently important for some people:

• Vagina & Anus: Both at 6.7 inches deep
• Mouth: A modest 5.1 inches

It feels odd measuring intimacy in decimals but hey, precision matters for absolute sex dolls I guess.

Movable Joints vs Human Limbs (Spoiler: She Wins)

Steel skeleton inside means Olivia bends almost anywhere you want her to—not quite Cirque du Soleil levels but close enough to make you question your own flexibility (or lack thereof). There was this one moment where I tried posing her on the couch and realized she holds position better than most dates do after two drinks.

But yeah… moving her around isn’t exactly effortless at nearly eighty pounds of dead weight (pun not intended). If your idea of foreplay involves light cardio lifting sessions, congrats—you’ve found your muse.

The Part Where Things Get Uncanny

There’s something about seeing her propped up against my bookshelf that made me pause longer than I care to admit. Like—is this supposed to feel normal? Her face looks inviting until you catch the blankness behind those eyes; then suddenly it’s less sexy and more existential crisis.

I remember thinking how much time went into engineering every joint so she could simulate “realism,” yet none of those hours were spent figuring out how not to freak out a mentally checked-out observer at midnight with Netflix paused mid-scene.

Tangent About Outfits Because Why Not

Quick detour here—the clothes in promo pics aren’t included (tiny print says “outfit for photo purposes only”). So unless you’re ready to shop for doll-sized fashion or repurpose old t-shirts into questionable couture… expect nudity as standard equipment.

Weirdly enough, dressing her became its own little project—one part puzzle-solving, one part retail therapy gone rogue.

Closing Thoughts That Aren’t Really Conclusions

Is Olivia lifelike? Sure—in all the ways that matter if realism means measurements down to half an inch and joints that don’t complain when twisted sideways. Does she fill some void? Maybe—but mostly she fills up space in my apartment while quietly reminding me how far technology has come (and also how far it hasn’t).

If nothing else, absolute sex dolls like Olivia are proof we’ll always find new ways to complicate simple things—even if sometimes we just want company who never judges our playlist choices or leaves hair in the drain.

Anyway—there are worse ways to spend three weeks waiting for a box nobody knows about but you.