Willow: Ready To Ship (And Apparently, She’s Already Waiting For You)

You ever get that feeling when you order something and it just… sits in a warehouse, somewhere between here and the moon?

I swear, half my adult life is spent refreshing tracking pages. But—get this—Willow isn’t playing that game. Nope. This doll is stored in our California warehouse and ready to ship, which means she’ll show up at your door in 3-7 business days after you click “order.” It’s almost suspicious how fast she gets there. Like, does Willow know something about logistics that Amazon doesn’t? Hmm.

The “As Pictured” Reality

Let’s not kid ourselves: most people don’t want to spend weeks going back-and-forth on customizations for a sex doll. Maybe some do, but if you’re like me—impatient and slightly allergic to endless options—you want what you see. Willow comes exactly as pictured with the removable vagina option (yes, it comes out), gel breasts (squishier than memory foam pillows), and standing feet. Not sure why standing feet matter until you try to lean her against your dresser without them… then suddenly it all makes sense.

If you’re itching for custom tweaks or have a thing for different hairstyles or eye colors or whatever—well, “pleaseclick here.” That link takes you down the rabbit hole of customization purgatory. No thanks; I’ll take my instant gratification where I can get it.

D-Cup Details (Because Size Actually Does Matter Here)

Now, Willow isn’t shy about her stats. She’s a D-cup TPE sex doll clocking in at 5 feet 7 inches tall (172 cm). That’s taller than my last girlfriend and honestly more flexible too—the steel skeleton with movable joints makes sure of that. Vaginal, anal, oral—it’s all possible; no hidden fees or awkward limitations.

The numbers are oddly specific:

• Bust: 35 inches
• Underbust: 26 inches
• Waist: 22.8 inches
• Hips: 33.8 inches

She weighs 84 lbs (38 kg). Carrying her upstairs was… an experience I would not call dignified.

Let’s Talk About Depth

I didn’t expect to be measuring “hole depth” on a Tuesday night but here we are:

• Vagina: 6.7 inches
• Anus: 6.7 inches
• Mouth: 5.1 inches

There’s probably some joke about symmetry in there but honestly—I just appreciate someone finally listing the real numbers instead of vague marketing fluff.

Why Fast Shipping Even Matters

It sounds trivial until your brain fixates on something and then waiting feels like medieval torture (thanks dopamine). With Willow being ready to ship from California—not some mystery port halfway around the globe—the whole process is weirdly satisfying for today’s instant-gratification world.

Absolute Sex Dolls seems to have figured out that sometimes people just want their stuff now—no drama, no delays—and maybe even less small talk than usual.

Unexpected Downsides That Nobody Mentions

There is one thing though—they never warn you about how big these boxes actually are when they arrive at your door. My neighbor caught sight of mine as I tried dragging it inside; he hasn’t made eye contact since.

Also: unpacking an anatomically correct human-sized figure alone at midnight? There are moments where even I question my life choices—but only briefly because curiosity always wins out over embarrassment.

Brief Tangent About Standing Feet

Can we talk about standing feet again? For years I thought this was some weird upsell gimmick until I realized what happens when your doll can’t stand up by herself: chaos ensues—a toppled-over Willow looks way less glamorous than advertised photos suggest.

Honestly? Now that I’ve seen both sides of that coin—I’d never go back.

Would You Do It Again?

Weirdly enough, yeah—I might. There’s something kind of liberating about skipping the whole design-a-doll ordeal and just getting exactly what was promised within days instead of months.

Maybe next time though… I'll schedule delivery for when my neighbor's not home.