Mistletoe: The Romantic Christmas Sex Doll I Didn’t Expect

Some things just show up in your life when you least expect them.

Not talking about a surprise holiday bonus or a heartfelt card from your grandma—no, this is about Mistletoe. The so-called “Romantic Christmas Sex Doll.” And yes, that’s her actual name. Maybe it’s the tiredness talking, but there’s something almost poetic about reviewing a full silicone sex doll while half-zoned out at my desk, the glow of a cheap string of fairy lights flickering in the corner.

Details That Stick (And Some That Don’t)

I’ll be honest: reading through the specs for these absolute sex dolls feels like scrolling some alternate reality version of online shopping. Mistletoe stands 5 feet 4 inches tall (165 cm if you’re feeling metric), which is…well, taller than my last girlfriend by a couple inches. Her weight clocks in at 74 lbs (33 kg). Lifting her was less awkward than expected—awkward but not impossible.

Her measurements are all laid out, almost clinical: C-cup bust (31.5 inches), under bust at 25.2 inches, waist at 22.6 inches, and hips coming in curvy at 37.4 inches. You get all the numbers you need to know before committing to this silicone love doll. There’s even info on hole depth—vagina is 6.3 inches deep; anus is 5.5 inches—which weirdly enough makes sense to mention but still feels odd typing with one hand holding cold coffee.

EVO Skeleton?

Sounds Fancy But…

The EVO skeleton thing gets hyped up everywhere—supposedly lets her pose more naturally, bend and hold positions better than older models (which I guess were more mannequin-y?). It actually does make a difference if you’re into photography or just want something that doesn’t feel like moving a plank around your apartment.

Gel breasts are another feature they push hard; honestly, they do feel better than solid silicone ones from other brands I’ve tried before (don’t ask). Still not quite real-real—but close enough that after an exhausting day it felt oddly comforting to just flop down next to her and forget emails exist for ten minutes.

Shipping Is…A Whole Thing

Here’s where things get mildly frustrating: processing time takes three weeks plus another week for shipping—so four weeks total before she arrives at your door in plain packaging without any branding or labels screaming “SEX DOLL INSIDE!!” across the box (thank god). Free international shipping though—that part surprised me.

Anyway, waiting that long made me question my sanity more than once (“Is this really how I’m spending my December?”). But there’s something kind of funny about tracking a package like it’s some secret agent mission only to unbox…well…her.

A Weird Kind Of Holiday Cheer

I remember thinking when she finally arrived: this is either peak loneliness or peak self-care—I haven’t decided which yet. Maybe both? There was fake snow on my window ledge and Bing Crosby playing somewhere distant as I set Mistletoe up in the living room for what turned into an extremely surreal Christmas Eve.

Not going to lie—the experience isn’t for everyone. She looks good under soft lights; feels surprisingly lifelike thanks to all that full silicone engineering; and yeah, vaginal and anal sex are possible if you’re wondering about function over form.

But sometimes late at night it hits me how strange modern love can be—or whatever passes for love when you’re too tired to go outside much anymore.

Unfinished Thoughts In A Sleepy Room

There isn’t really a neat way to wrap this up because honestly? Life rarely gives us those tidy endings anyway. If you’re looking into absolute sex dolls like Mistletoe—a busty silicone model with proportions most people only see in magazines—you probably already know what you want out of it.

Me? I guess I’m still figuring out whether she counts as company or just another quirky chapter in an ongoing story nobody else will ever read start-to-finish.

Maybe next year I’ll buy myself socks instead—less emotionally complicated somehow.