Urielle: The Redhead Captain Sex Doll Who Kind of Surprised Me

I’m not even going to pretend I wasn’t skeptical.

You see the ads—absolute sex dolls, full silicone, red hair, whatever—they all start blending together after a while. But Urielle? There’s something weirdly specific about her. She’s billed as a “badass captain,” which sounds like marketing, but also… what does that even mean for a love doll? Anyway, here’s how it went.

Unboxing (And That Whole Discreet Thing)

The box was just—well, it was a box. Plain cardboard. No weird logos or creepy branding screaming “sex doll” at the neighbors (thank god). I guess discreet packaging is real with this one. It took almost exactly four weeks from order to doorstep; three weeks processing and then another week for shipping. Not quick, but you know what you’re getting into if you read the fine print.

Lifting her out was no joke though—79 lbs is heavier than my last TV and she doesn’t exactly help you out by being cooperative (steel skeleton or not). I remember thinking my back would never forgive me.

The Look: Red Hair & Proportions That Don’t Quit

Urielle stands 5 feet 5 inches tall (165 cm), so she isn’t tiny or oddly shaped like some other dolls I’ve seen floating around online. Her red hair is actually kind of striking in person—not that fake orange-red either; more like someone who’d be cast as the sassy sidekick in an action movie.

Body-wise? Bust: 32 inches, waist: 21.7 inches, hips: 34.6 inches. Skinny but not cartoonish (if that makes sense?). Honestly, she looks more athletic than fragile—which fits the whole “captain” thing they keep pushing.

Movable Joints & Steel Skeleton Reality Check

The steel skeleton is supposed to let you pose her however you want—and yeah, technically it works—but don’t expect ballet flexibility or anything elegant right out of the box. Some joints are stiff at first and need working in (and yes, your hands will get tired). Maybe it gets easier over time? Or maybe I’m just lazy these days.

Still… being able to set her up leaning against something or sitting without slumping over—that’s better than most cheap silicone dolls offer.

Sex Features: Vaginal & Anal Depths Aren't Just Numbers

Let’s be blunt for a sec—the specs say vagina depth is 7.1 inches and anus depth is 6 inches. Those numbers are accurate enough; nothing feels shallow or awkwardly placed during use (which has been an issue with other absolute sex dolls I’ve tried before).

Both entries feel different too—like they actually thought about design instead of just drilling holes wherever there was space inside the mold.

Unexpected Stuff Nobody Mentions

Here’s where things went off-script for me: cleaning takes time and patience—a lot more than people admit on forums or product pages. If you don’t have a good drying stick handy? Prepare for frustration.

Also… storage is tricky if privacy matters to you because she doesn’t fold up small and those steel joints aren’t forgiving when trying to stuff her in a closet behind winter coats.

Oh—and red hairs get everywhere at first until she settles in place on your bed or chair or wherever she ends up living most days.

A Tangent About Names & Odd Attachment

Weirdly enough—I started calling her “Captain Trouble” after week two because Urielle sounded too formal once she became part of my daily routine (is that sad?). There’s this odd sense of presence when you walk past—a little uncanny sometimes but also comforting during late nights when insomnia hits hard.

Maybe that says more about me than about love dolls themselves…

Shipping & Waiting Game Blues

Four weeks felt longer than it should have—especially checking tracking updates every two days like some desperate teenager waiting for concert tickets to drop. Free international shipping helps soften the blow but still… patience isn’t really my strong suit these days.

At least nobody knew what was inside except me until unboxing day rolled around—discreetness level: expert mode achieved.

Last Bit Before I Crash

If you’re into skinny redheads with actual curves and want something sturdier than bargain-bin silicone options… Urielle might surprise you too—or maybe annoy your lower back first before winning points later on your mattress (or couch). She won’t solve loneliness but she sure makes quiet nights less empty somehow.

Anyway—I should probably stand up now before my legs fall asleep again from writing this on the floor next to Captain Trouble herself…